Category Archives: Amusements

I'm Sure Tipper Blames Those Nasty Rock Lyrics

Al Gore’s Son Must Enter Substance Abuse Program For Pot Charge

Albert Gore III will have to complete a substance abuse program under an agreement approved Monday by a judge presiding over a marijuana possession case against the son of former vice president and Democratic presidential nominee Al Gore.

While I believe marijuana should be 100% legal, driving while intoxicated is a bad bad thing.

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So *THAT'S* What Was on her Chest

Via patented Jarnot Photo Enhancement Technology™ (click on image):

Update: Looks like the FCC is investigating the ripped bodice incident. Please protect us FCC!!! :-)

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Wheeeeee!!!!

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Truth in Advertising

Via JWZ’s weblog:

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What's the Big Deal About Paris Hilton?

I don’t understand what the big deal is about Paris Hilton

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Where's My Skinny Piano Tie?

I was cleaning up some old papers and found a copy of my old band’s first group photo. For those of you who don’t know, the name of the band was “Façade” and we played the Western New York club circuit back in the mid-80s. We even opened for Run-DMC, OMD, and a few other bands that were fairly popular back then.

Anyways, here’s the pic. I’m the scowling 145 lb keyboardist on the right. :-)

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Ask a Bear with Searing Gas Pain

I don’t know why, but I find this hilarious

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Go, Tommy, Go!

My oldest son, Tommy, started skating lessons the other day. It was his second time on ice skates and after a few minor spills he was having a great time. In fact, he was having so much fun that he wanted to free skate and not line up with the other kids:

He has obviously inherited his Mother’s sense of fun and his Father’s ability to ignore teachers. :-)

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The Adventures of Isabel

In honor of my daughter:

Adventures of Isabel

Isabel met an enormous bear,
Isabel, Isabel, didn’t care;
The bear was hungry, the bear was ravenous,
The bear’s big mouth was cruel and cavernous.
The bear said, Isabel, glad to meet you,
How do, Isabel, now I’ll eat you!
Isabel, Isabel, didn’t worry.
Isabel didn’t scream or scurry.
She washed her hands and she straightened her hair up,
Then Isabel quietly ate the bear up.

Once in a night as black as pitch
Isabel met a wicked old witch.
the witch’s face was cross and wrinkled,
The witch’s gums with teeth were sprinkled.
Ho, ho, Isabel! the old witch crowed,
I’ll turn you into an ugly toad!
Isabel, Isabel, didn’t worry,
Isabel didn’t scream or scurry,
She showed no rage and she showed no rancor,
But she turned the witch into milk and drank her.

Isabel met a hideous giant,
Isabel continued self reliant.
The giant was hairy, the giant was horrid,
He had one eye in the middle of his forhead.
Good morning, Isabel, the giant said,
I’ll grind your bones to make my bread.
Isabel, Isabel, didn’t worry,
Isabel didn’t scream or scurry.
She nibled the zwieback that she always fed off,
And when it was gone, she cut the giant’s head off.

Isabel met a troublesome doctor,
He punched and he poked till he really shocked her.
The doctor’s talk was of coughs and chills
And the doctor’s satchel bulged with pills.
The doctor said unto Isabel,
Swallow this, it will make you well.
Isabel, Isabel, didn’t worry,
Isabel didn’t scream or scurry.
She took those pills from the pill concocter,
And Isabel calmly cured the doctor.

– Ogden Nash

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Like Jumbo Shrimp, Military Intelligence…

Kevin and Clowns don’t mix.

I really hate clowns

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