My (now 16 year old) son Pete has a knack for coming up with very funny quotes. I present to you a list of my favorites, in order from Age 10 to Age 16.
- (At age 10) “I’m slowly losing my youth.”
- “PAstrami. I like the way that sounds. PAAAASTRAAAAAMEEEEEEEEE.”
- (In FAO Schwarz candy section) “Look at that huge box of nerds!”
- (To my then 2 year old nephew) “Martin, yellow’s not tasty.”
- (On food) “Everything’s good out of a can.”
- “Cheese is nature’s glue.”
- (After picking some Skunk Cabbage) “You guys just don’t appreciate nature’s aromas.”
- (After my wife Heather complained to a waiter about the background music in a Chinese restaurant) “The waiter was laughing out of fear.”
- (In a local townie restaurant) “This tastes like glue.”
- (On his older brother) “Tommy spawns a lot of bad vibes.”
- (On his dinner) “It’s covered in cheese and makes me feel weird.”
- “I hate what I hate.”
- “It’s an inflatable hammer. Why would I not hit someone with it?”
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(Watching a commercial) “I want that razor. It handles male terrain.”
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“I’m getting the feeling that dad would be an abusive father if he was an accountant. “
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(Eating in a Mexican restaurant) “Guacamole makes me feel weird.”
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(Getting some dessert at home) “Where’s that spoon that scrapes out the ice cream?”
- “Somebody needs to invent edible tape. “
- (At a nicer restaurant) “Why does fancy bread need to be so uncomfortable?”
- Me (drinking a Moscow Mule): “Everything tastes better in a copper mug.” Pete: “Is that why pennies taste so good?”
- (Out of the blue, after sitting quietly for a while) “I had a dream last night that I was in war-torn Poland.”
Hey–I was complaining about the music being on a 2 min loop!! 😉