Techie Manager

My (now 16 year old) son Pete has a knack for coming up with very funny quotes. I present to you a list of my favorites, in order from Age 10 to Age 16.

• (At age 10) “I’m slowly losing my youth.”
• “PAstrami.  I like the way that sounds.  PAAAASTRAAAAAMEEEEEEEEE.”
• (In FAO Schwarz candy section) “Look at that huge box of nerds!”
• (To my then 2 year old nephew) “Martin, yellow’s not tasty.”
• (On food) “Everything’s good out of a can.”
• “Cheese is nature’s glue.”
• (After picking some Skunk Cabbage) “You guys just don’t appreciate nature’s aromas.”
• (After my wife Heather complained to a waiter about the background music in a Chinese restaurant) “The waiter was laughing out of fear.”
• (In a local townie restaurant) “This tastes like glue.”
• (On his older brother) “Tommy spawns a lot of bad vibes.”
• (On his dinner) “It’s covered in cheese and makes me feel weird.”
• “I hate what I hate.”
• “It’s an inflatable hammer. Why would I not hit someone with it?”
• (Watching a commercial) “I want that razor. It handles male terrain.”
• “I’m getting the feeling that dad would be an abusive father if he was an accountant. “
• (Eating in a Mexican restaurant) “Guacamole makes me feel weird.”
• (Getting some dessert at home) “Where’s that spoon that scrapes out the ice cream?”
• “Somebody needs to invent edible tape. “
• (At a nicer restaurant) “Why does fancy bread need to be so uncomfortable?”
• Me (drinking a Moscow Mule): “Everything tastes better in a copper mug.” Pete: “Is that why pennies taste so good?”
• (Out of the blue, after sitting quietly for a while) “I had a dream last night that I was in war-torn Poland.”